unnoteworthy runs I’ve done recently

So last week we put the toddler in the car and drove to Missouri, on purpose.

road tripping with a toddler

I’m pretty busy right now, but I’ve penciled in a tantrum for 6:30.

I was going to write up like a big, fascinating travel report because it’s basically the only thing that happened last week and this is as close as we’re gonna to get to a beach vacation any time soon, but I’m not feeling all story-telly today so I thought I’d just talk about running some more. So if you came here hoping not to read another blog post about being pregnant and running…dumbass.

Last Thursday? I did a track workout!

LOLJKNO. But I did get to run really, really slowly around an actual track. It was soft and squishy and positively dreamy for my poor fat feet.

kardashian feet

I had to see this so I think you should have to see it too.

A few years ago I wrote a blog post about how I tried to find a damn track on my side of town that wasn’t locked up behind an 8 foot security fence. Seriously. What do they think people are going to do to an open field? Steal the bleachers? Joint sub-committee on the 50 fucking yard line? livin But in certain small towns in Missouri where it’s like 1959 and people don’t even lock their doors (or their meth trailers), the high school tracks are open to everyone.

Side note? Last time I went to Missouri, I ran on the Katy Trail, but the trail head is a good two miles or so from the house and I probably wouldn’t have made it home with my uterus still intact. And the track was only half a block away.

I didn’t take any selfies, but picture a 30-going-on-47-weeks pregnant chick waddling around in a shirt that’s too small and the wrong kind of sunglasses and smiling like a lunatic. That was me.

I had plans to run Friday, Saturday and Sunday but I didn’t. IDK gif After a lot of driving and some torrential rain and demoralizing high winds, I was finally able to do some running outdoors this week.

Monday I was on the fitness trail at my YMCA for 3.5 miles without even having to take a pee break.

I did it again on Tuesday, but I had to stop two miles in to run inside the gym, swipe my card, and waddle down a long hall to the locker room to relieve myself. It took almost five minutes and sort of killed my momentum but somehow I summoned the courage to go back outside and run another mile.  BooHoo Today I ran with the stroller, in 30 mph winds, which made me feel like I was pushing a station wagon. I quit early and I’m really proud of that decision because there’s probably nothing stupider than running with a jogging stroller when you’re 30 weeks pregnant. I ran so slowly I may as well have been walking, and I was exhausted before I even hit 3.0 miles. (LOL?)

The key to running (or any kind of working out, really) when you are pregnant is to quit while you’re ahead. The days that I’m like I feel great, I think I’ll just keep going! are they days that I end up with an achy butt and crotch. So I’ve learned to just do my 3-ish miles and STOP, no matter how incredible I might feel. giphy That’s all I’ve got for now!

Warning: I really want to do an update soon on our new baby’s room (it’s not a nursery okay? It’s a ROOM), but it’s not quite ready yet. I know most of you probably won’t give a shit but I’m going to do it anyway because I don’t do creative things that often and I’m proud of it and also because IT’S MY FUCKING BLOG.

Here’s a little teaser… IMG_8810 Other frivolous blog posts I have coming up:

  • 1000 words on what amniotic fluid smells like
  • Things I’ve added to shopping carts and never purchased
  • Why just the placenta? Other human organs I think we should encapsulate and eat
  • Metamucil: for happy assholes #unsponsored

Any requests? Because as you can see, I am really reaching here. All suggestions, no matter how obnoxious, offensive or even sincere, will be entertained.


13 thoughts on “unnoteworthy runs I’ve done recently

  1. Oh oh I got one! Why #fitfluential sucks balls!

    You ran while pregnant? The only thing more badass than that is doing box jumps while pregnant 😉

  2. I’m just impressed that you are still running. Can I call you a badass? 🙂

    The baby’s room looks like Evan’s did for about 90% of my pregnancy. He didn’t move in until he was 8 months old, so I’m glad I had his room prepped.

    Amniotic fluid smells. Really? Wow.

    • I do a 5:1 run/walk and average about a 12:00 pace. But both feet leave the ground at the same time so TECHNICALLY it is still running, but I almost feel guilty calling it that.

      I am really hoping #2 will room with us for a while. We moved K into her crib a lot earlier than we (okay, I) wanted because she wouldn’t sleep in the pack n play. But, whatever it takes!

  3. You want ideas? I can give you ideas

    Breastfeeding, why just for babies? Husbands need nutrients too.

    Baby in a box: Why cribs are inhumane and destined to make your child a serial killer

    Having a dog is just like having a baby: Potty training meets housebreaking. Espisode one: rolled newspaper, the multiuse tool!

  4. Pingback: hi there | Cheaper Than Therapy

  5. Pingback: Five weeks to half marathon greatness: week 3 | Cheaper Than Therapy

  6. Pingback: another week of unnoteworthy running (4/24) | Cheaper Than Therapy

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