the third trimester fuckits

I’m throwing in the towel, you guys!

The morning after last Thursday’s run, I woke up with excruciating sciatic nerve pain from my right ass cheek all the way down to my calf, and it lasted two days. I could barely walk. I took four days off from running and two days off completely from life and then because I’m stupid I decided to try a little test run on Tuesday, just to make sure it wasn’t a fluke. I didn’t have the sciatic nerve pain but I only ran 2.5 miles (and by “ran” I mean a 5:1 run/walk at 10:45-11:45 pace) before I realized I wasn’t having any fun at all. I was just counting the seconds until my walk break. So yeah, I’m done.


I’m not upset though. (I’m writing a whole blog post about it, but not upset!) I hardly ran at all during my first pregnancy so I’m glad I was able to go as long as I did. Maybe it’s been beneficial to my health? I have no proof other than my own anecdotal evidence, but I’ve felt better and had more energy this time around, and I haven’t gained 50 pounds, which has made everyday activities a little more enjoyable. Whether that’s because of running, who knows. But it certainly hasn’t been my diet.


And I realize how absurd it would be to keep running just to meet some arbitrary goal that nobody gives a shit about but me, and to risk doing permanent damage to my ass and hips.

For now, I don’t yearn to be outside running. Yesterday I planned on doing some kind of workout but the decision to do jack shit instead was an incredibly easy one.

fat and lazy

I went swimming on Wednesday and although the chlorine did suck every ounce of moisture from my body just as I feared, the actual swimming part wasn’t too bad. My arms burned after just two laps, but I got warmed up and did 1000 yards without wanting to end my life.

facedown pool party

Also, I posted this on my blog the first time I was pregnant and NOBODY EVEN APPRECIATED IT SO I’M POSTING IT AGAIN:

maries baby


It took me nearly 20 minutes during my former REAL JOB to photoshop my face on there, so I think it’s worth one more attempt to solicit your praise and adoration. And if you can’t name that film, we can’t be friends anymore.

Oh, and here’s a selfie! A blurry one. 31 weeks, 6 days.

pregnancy selfie

#idonthaveasmartphone 😦


14 thoughts on “the third trimester fuckits

  1. Please explain how your photoshop genius went unappreciated the last time around. If I could do that I would quit my job. You are my graphic design hero.

    • Not done yet! I’m still waiting for the organic, local, gluten-free receiving blankets to arrive.
      Edit: oh and we will probably be forced to get smartphones soon. I’ll do a whole tutorial in case someone out there doesn’t know how smartphones work yet.

      • I have a femur head teething toy! All natural and only used by one person. They’re super hard to find. Do you have one yet? I am happy to pass it along 🙂

      • I’m so glad you got to keep it! You should grind it up and drink it in a smoothie. So many delicious minerals!

  2. Hi Marie! I’m Heather and I have a question regarding your blog! Please email me at Lifesabanquet1(at)gmail(dot)com 🙂

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