I’m launching a counterterrorism campaign against the spiders in my house.

So the other day around 5 a.m., I was in bed feeding the baby when I noticed a spider crawling up the wall toward the ceiling.

It wasn’t a HUGE spider, but it was big enough to see in the darkish room. Warily, I continued to watch the spider as it began crawling across the ceiling toward the area just above the bed. My husband wasn’t home, or I would have woken him up and asked him to kill it warned him of the impending calamity.

As I watched in horror, the spider stopped directly over my bed and then DROPPED DOWN ON ITS THREAD RIGHT ABOVE ME.

In my hasty escape, I almost threw the baby across the room.

By the time I got a large enough wad of paper towels, the spider had already gone back upthread to the ceiling, so I had to stand in a very vulnerable position on my bed with the spider above me in order to kill it. Additionally I risked knocking it off the ceiling onto the bed, possibly losing it under the covers and then never being able to sleep in there again. Luckily, I got it on the first try so we don’t have to move. But now every time I go in my room, I have to conduct a thorough search of the walls, the ceiling, and the bed and covers before I can relax. And still, every time I’m in bed, I feel like there are spiders all over me.

spiders in bd

Yeah, so It’s that time of year when it begins getting colder and all the damn bugs want to come inside. (Oh, and yet it’s still warm enough that I get devoured by mosquitos every time I leave the house, but I’ll wait to tell you about that until I do the blog challenge where every day I write about something that’s just totally unfair.)

We spray the inside and outside of the house twice a year. My husband does the spraying, and my job is to contain the children and cats until he’s finished, because it’s not like, a nice, organic, natural, gluten-free solution we use. It’s OMGSCARYCHEMICALS, which is exactly what I want when we’re talking about spiders, silverfish and centipedes. (OH MY?) I want the shit that’s strong enough to kill an elephant, but ph-balanced to kill several thousand virtually harmless insects.

Oh, and just for fun, this, from Clickhole: 10 things people with a spider on their face are tired of hearing.

So that was your something scary for the day. Now here’s an update on the reading challenge: I hate when people make excuses for why they don’t read more, so I’m not going to do that, but I’m finding it difficult to read more than a couple pages at a time. I think I’ll feel satisfied with myself –and more like a normal human being– if I can finish at least two books this month. We’re flying across the country to visit my parents soon, so I’m crossing my fingers that the flight will go smoothly, and that I’ll also have some leisure time during our stay (ie, time to ignore my children and do ME things like get into a scalding hot bath with a beer and a book and stay in there until the water gets cold).

Tomorrow, my thoughts on clowns! 

clowns

 

What’s your biggest irrational fear?

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14 thoughts on “I’m launching a counterterrorism campaign against the spiders in my house.

  1. Our house is being completely overtaken by spiders and I have no idea what to do about it. I spray the spots where I find they tend to gather (mostly the seams between the ceiling and the wall) but every damn morning I’m walking through fresh spider webs.

    It’s a hard life #sobrave

    • #prayingforyou
      We use Home Defense and it says to spray the whole perimeter of the house inside (around the baseboards) and outside to create a barrier. It seems to work pretty well.

  2. Spiders don’t bother me, but those house centipedes … OMG. So many legs, just crawling over you, and they’re so fast!!! It’s enough to give me a conniption.

  3. I’m so confused by all these rapid-fire #everymotherfuckingday posts you’re REALLY DOING! that I mentioned my irrational fears on the previous post. Look at you go with this daily disciplined approach to blogging!!!

    Spiders. Freak me the fuck out. I saw one on the wall by the head of our bed the other night from across the room. And it’s a big room. And this was not the first time. Seriously as big as my fucking PALM. I don’t want to sleep here anymore

  4. Have you ever noticed how much more prolific you are headed into Halloween? Regarding irrational fear, Dolls and Llamas, but not the Dalai Lama.

  5. OMG, I would have died in your situation. This is why I didn’t marry someone who has to travel for work. Actually it was because I hate money and never want to have any. Probably needles are my biggest irrational fear, although I guess pregnancy did help me deal with it a bit. But I’m pretty sure next time I need blood drawn I’ll still flip out.

    • If he’d been there, the spider probably would have dropped down onto his face while he slept. And I felt like I needed to tell him that so he could share the terror of the experience with me.

  6. PS. Can you read while feeding the baby in the middle of the night? That’s what I do (granted I need to choose books closer to the Twilight level than the War and Peace level) but please ignore this comment if that’s a totally stupid suggestion with TWO kids.

    • I CAN, but I usually don’t. I just stare at my phone! And i think you’ll find the feedings take a lot less time as he gets older. It used to take an hour or more and now I can get her back down in 20 mins or so!

  7. Pingback: October recap | Cheaper Than Therapy

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