A parenting success and a Pinterest fail

Yeah, so last night was Round 2 of trying to get the baby to go to sleep in her crib, and it actually went better than I thought it would.

She didn’t sleep through the night– not even close, but I’m calling it a success because I didn’t cave and bring her back into my room. I really wanted to give up at 3:30 and again at 4:00 a.m., but we stuck it out and she ended up getting a decent night’s sleep AND some good naps today. (I didn’t, but whatever. Turns out I can function on far less sleep than I ever imagined.)

I did kind of miss her, and it sucked having to walk all the way to her room every time she woke up instead of just scooping her up into bed with me, but it was reeeeally nice to hang out in my own room without having to sneak around in the dark. I read a book IN BED for the first time in months!

Some day, when I’m not breastfeeding at night anymore, I hope to get drunk in bed. Just lay there in bed and watch TV and get drunk. I live a simple life, folks.

I am hoping the baby starts sleeping through the night soon (and her sister too, for that matter), but I’m in no hurry to sleep train. I’ve learned from recent events with the toddler that sleep-training a baby has absolutely NO IMPACT on how well they’ll sleep as they get older. All that “training” goes right down the toilet when they realize they can get out of bed on their own. So when those books tell you that letting your baby cry it out for a couple nights will lead to a lifetime of healthy sleep habits? Just remember that’s total bullshit.


This is how I felt when my toddler started getting out of bed 20 times a night.

In fail news, “we” carved a pumpkin yesterday, and I made the mistake of looking at Pinterest for ideas.

I have looked at Pinterest maybe three times in my whole life. That’s not like, a hipster I’M TOO COOL humblebrag, I’m just not terribly crafty and I have so many other social media sites clogging my internets, it never occurs to me to go look at shit on Pinterest. But I wanted to impress my daughter by carving her some kind of badass pumpkin, so into the bowels of crafting I went.

And I instantly remembered why I hate the site so much: the skills needed to achieve anything even remotely crafty vastly exceed my own. You also need a bunch of tiny special tools, apparently, and a whole lot of free time; I had a dull chef’s knife and just until the baby woke up.

But I found one pumpkin design I thought I could reasonably duplicate without making it look too retarded (and of course it came out looking retarded anyway).

What do you think??

This took me like an hour and a half.

This took me like an hour and a half I wasn’t even drunk.

Are you good at carving pumpkins or do you suck like me?


One thought on “A parenting success and a Pinterest fail

  1. My carving prowess is directly related to how much time I have and if I can find that set of tiny carving tools. Two years ago we speed-carved 5 pumpkins. They looked pretty shitty and the kitchen was a complete, slime-covered disaster, but the kids kind of dug the whole concept of “speed-carving.” And no one lost any digits.

    On the “in their own room” thing…my husband and I finally had our room to ourselves starting last December for the first time since 1999. It is so fun to get to make noise and be LOUD for a change. Good luck with that transition!

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