Yeah so, last night was one of those OH MY GOD HOLY FUCK KILL ME I’M LOSING MY MIND kind of nights.
I have a 5 month old and a 3 year old you guys, and they both sleep like newborns. They were waking up before I even went to bed, and then pretty much took turns every hour from 10:30 until dawn. I even broke my Number One Rule For Maintaining My Sanity and briefly let Kenzie GET INTO BED WITH ME because I just didn’t feel like I had the energy to get up again, but then I came to my very last sense and carried her back to her room. The last time I put her to bed was at 5 a.m. She was up for the day at 6:15.
I HATE writing about this. Nobody cares about my children’s sleep habits. It’s so boring. And nobody cares that I’m tired. Everybody’s tired. But being this tired hurts.
And I’m doing everything wrong. Everybody’s always like, PUT THEM TO BED AWAKE OR ELSE THEY’LL NEVER LEARN TO SLEEP. Well, I did that with Kenzie and look where it got us. Now she literally needs someone to hold her hand until she falls asleep. (The only alternative is to lock her in her room and I won’t do that.)
With Codie, I really tried. For a while I was putting her down awake probably half the time. If she didn’t go right to sleep, I’d cuddle and nurse her. But over the last month or so I’ve started nursing her to sleep every time.
I can’t let them cry. Even if I had the intestinal fortitude for that (not saying I won’t have to resort to it at some point), they’d just scream and wake each other up. And I’ve been awake with both girls at 3 a.m. I’m not trying to do that again. (I’ve written that exact statement here before. I think. I told you, I’m losing it.)