I’m itchy AF

Yeah, so I’m itchy as fuck you guys.

We’ve been getting obnoxious amounts of rain here lately and the insects have been out of control. Spiders as big as your head, swarms of crickets, locusts of biblical proportions, and mosquitoes. My god, the mosquitoes. And because I have shit for brains, I still regularly forget to use insect repellent. I was playing outside with my kids on Sunday and it took about 10 minutes before I realized I was being eaten alive.


It was literally, exactly like this.

Luckily the kids weren’t bitten at all, but I have bites everywhere from the bottom of my feet all the way up to my neck. I think I even have one on my scalp. 


The worst is a gigantic, hard-to-reach one in the middle of my back, and I have a cluster of three or four on my left butt cheek so I’ve had my hand down my pants for the better part of the day.

itchy cat

You may remember I swore off mosquito repellent a couple years ago after I suffered the indecency of a full-body rash when I slathered myself up in deet and then got drunk and forgot to wash it off.


I did find a “natural” repellent that OFF! makes and it appears to be effective (as long as I remember to use it). It smells like vanilla and it doesn’t contain deet, so while I am suspicious of the word natural on a bottle of pesticide, I feel a little better about putting it on myself and my kids.


Oh, this post isn’t sponsored, by the way. But if the good folks at OFF! do want to pay me for writing nice things about them, I won’t refuse.

Do you get eaten alive by mosquitoes or are you one of those special people with mosquito immunity?


3 thoughts on “I’m itchy AF

  1. I get eaten alive by mosquitoes too. They LOVE me. The only two people that I’ve met that mosquitoes love more were this random girl I met while camping and my husband. Whenever my husband’s around, I’m mosquito free. Shall I send him to you?

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