I ran the Indy Miler 10 extraordinarily badly

I’ll get the basic shit out of the way first and then we can talk about how much I suck: I finished the Indy Miler series 10 in 1:28:59, a PR by 18 seconds. It was not the PR I wanted, but it was definitely the PR I deserved.

Age group: 13/159
Women: 65/963
Overall: 289/1629

I ran very badly.

Friday night I realized it had been exactly 27 days since the first day of my last period.

And can I just add that I’ve run like 18 races on my period this year? (Seriously, search my archives. I complain about it a lot.)

THEN, Saturday morning at 6 a.m. I opened our junk drawer in the kitchen where I keep my gels and there were no gels to be found. So I kinda had a case of the fuckits as I headed off to the race (with an Aldi protein bar stuffed into my bra).

The PLAN (before I abandoned it at the start line) was to begin conservatively, work up to 8:30s and then haul ass for the last couple miles. What I ended up doing was hauling ass for the first mile and then falling apart for the rest of the race.

I ran an almost flawlessly positive split until the last mile, when I realized a PR was still possible and I picked it up enough to squeak in just under 1:29:00.

It takes talent to run this fucking bad.

Probably around mile 5, I pulled out the protein bar and choked down a few bites. It was a lot harder to chew than I anticipated. I can inhale one of those things while I’m driving in my car. But while running, I felt like I was trying to swallow cement. I snorted and gasped and nearly aspirated a chunk of peanut butter rice crisp.

I shoved the bar back in my bra (in the wrapper you guys, I’m not totally gross) until just before mile 6 when I forced down a few more bites as I approached an aid station so I could chase it with some Gatorade. I had another splash of Gatorade around mile 8 I think, and that was it for the rest of the race.

So I ran a slightly faster race than my other 10 mile race, but I ran it indisputably worse. For comparison, my splits from the 10 miler two years ago:

In summary, I suck at running. It’s okay though! Next month I’m running a 5k. I’ll run it at roughly the same pace but it’ll be over a lot faster.