subversive shit I did last week (Mother’s Day edition)

I meant to actually publish this on mother’s day but let’s call this mother’s week.

Who I supported

Who I contacted

  • I contacted my Indiana House rep Todd Rokita (aka fuckface) and asked him to do the right thing and vote against the ACA repeal bill. (Here’s how every rep voted so you can praise/chastise yours accordingly.) The ACLU had a crazy easy tool where you plug in your phone number, your phone rings and prompts you to enter you zip code, and then it connects you to your rep! EASY. And it was after-hours so I didn’t even have to talk to anyone. I just left an awkward voicemail saying that the repeal will hurt women, people with disabilities and people with preexisting conditions.
  • I wrote the White House and asked the president not to sign the religious freedom executive order, which I figured would be a waste of time, but the order turned out to be a pretty watered-down version of the one we feared (though still not great) so maybe they actually remembered what happened in Indiana and decided not to do that again? Conservatives were kinda pissed, actually. ūüôā
  • I wrote and faxed all three of my members of Congress using the Resistbot to ask them to speak up about appointing a special prosecutor to investigate the Russia-Trump ties.
  • I have placed repeated calls and emails to my two senators to oppose the latest “healthcare” bill AKA tax cut for the wealthy.

 What I did

  • Nothing, really? I guess what I’m “doing” right now is trying to focus on changes and impacts I can make locally. I think I’ve had a tendency to concentrate on too many broad, national issues while ignoring things that are going on right in my backyard, so to speak. I’m not gonna run for mayor or anything, but I’m trying to be more involved in my own community.
  • Something I’ve been meaning to do is go back through all my subversive shit posts and do an update on any issues that have since been decided. We’ve had a couple of small victories in Indiana, but not many.

What I read

Some good things

Image source
Read all my “subversive shit” posts

the week in kids, running, ribs and barf

So in my last post, the baby was recovering from her mystery illness and I’d just completed a 10 mile run. Since then, the toddler acquired¬†and then recovered from the mystery illness, she¬†ran her first race, we all celebrated Mother’s Day, I had a couple of decent runs (and a couple shitty ones), and the baby cut another tooth and had a random barfing incident (she’s fine now).

tumblr_mlz8ce118u1sp274no1_500

If I were a good blogger, each of these topics would have its own eloquently funny blog post but since I suck, I’ll cram everything into one long rambling mess¬†and pretend like you’ll read it all the way through to the end.

zombieland

And I’ll intersperse it¬†with Woody Harrelson GIFs because why the fuck not.

So most of my runs have not been terribly noteworthy. I’m mostly working on base building and trying to do one long run and one¬†speedish-type workout a week, and one or two days of cycling and/or weight training.

Sunday 5/10 Р7.7
Monday 5/11 – cycling/weights
Tuesday 5/12 Р3.8
Wednesday 5/13 – 3
Thursday 5/14 – cycling
Today – I haven’t decided yet

On Mother’s Day, I planned to do 10 miles, a number I plucked arbitrarily out of thin air because it sounded good. However, I was out of fuel gels and only made it to 7.7 before I quit. (As a sidenote, I have thought about subbing¬†my daughter’s apple sauce pouches for gels but apple sauce makes me want to barf.)

1096

And the consistency of apple sauce itself is not unlike barf.

My splits sucked ass.

ewsldfjaweio

On Tuesday I did just under four miles outside alternating half miles faster and slower and averaged 8:28, which is considerably faster than my normal 3-4 mile runs. Against my better judgment, I ran again on Wednesday. That run was somewhere in the high 9:XXs. My quads were trashed and they were all like:

giphy (4)

But I was all like:

gOHSI4m

I just really wanted to use this GIF.

My half marathon PR is 1:58, which is kind of my benchmark for what I think I’m capable of. Obviously, I’m still a ways off. (I’m nowhere near ready to talk¬†about marathon goals yet.)

Wednesday I ran with Codie in the stroller which is not really worth mentioning except that lugging the stroller on my runs is kind of novel again and for the present, I actually enjoy it.

giphy (6)

Saturday, Kenzie did the 500 Festival Rookie Run! It’s part of¬†this whole Kids Day thing with activities and junk food and races for all ages. She’d been telling us since my last race that she wanted to do one too, and she always¬†wants to race¬†everywhere, so this was the perfect opportunity. I don’t want to push her into running, but I have to admit I was thrilled and proud when she brought it up on her own.

giphy (7)

Then she got sick. She had two nights of high fevers and the second night she barfed. She couldn’t stop shaking and we sat on the floor of the bathroom for an hour just hugging. It was really special and awful.

The third night, Thursday night, she coughed all night and we decided running was out of the question. But on Friday she actually seemed a lot better. She¬†slept all night without any coughing fits so we decided to head¬†downtown for the festivities and even if she didn’t run, at least there would be junk food.

giphy (2)

The kids’ races were organized a lot like grown-up races, which made sense¬†from a logistical standpoint because there was no confusion or safety concerns, but it was also just really adorable.¬†The 3 year olds ran a two block out-and-back race with a viewing area for parents along one side (although we were also permitted to run with our kids). The kids were released in waves to prevent utter chaos and¬†gridlock.¬†And she didn’t need to stretch or warmup because she never really stops moving.

anigif_enhanced-buzz-9867-1384184123-39

Kenzie initially wanted me to stay with her, but at the start she just took off running so I hung back and watched and was ready for the photo ops as she headed back toward the finish.

2015-05-09 10.38.06

2015-05-09 10.38.08

passing kids

PASSING OTHER PEOPLE IS ALL THAT MATTERS.

At the finish, they ran through the chute and collected a medal, bottled water, apple sauce pouch and fruit cup.

2015-05-09 10.40.07

Seriously though, where are the Twinkies?

Then they continued to an area with a backdrop for photos.

2015-05-09 10.42.16

OMG RIGHT?

Mother’s day was pretty low key. We don’t have family here so we don’t do a big fancy brunch or anything like that. My husband asked what I wanted to do and I told him I wanted to go for a long run early and then eat¬†ribs.

We both slept like shit though (a toddler who shall remain nameless has been sleeping in our bed recently), so I ended up running mid-morning. Husband fired up the grill around noon and we had the ribs for dinner on the patio.

OMG RIBS

OMG RIBS

We did remember to do¬†a nice Mother’s Day photo of me and the spawns. I’m always the one taking the pictures so it was fun to¬†get one of me and both¬†girls. We even sort of wore the same colors, a feat we couldn’t even pull off that one time we had actual professional photos taken back in 2014.

2015-05-10 12.57.17

After Mother’s Day, we had a few days of¬†harmony and quietude before the baby started waking up every two hours again. It all made sense when I found a new tiny tooth. Teething, you guys. Seriously. Fuck.

giphy (1)

Then on Wednesday night she slept straight through¬†until 3 a.m., which is as good as through the night for us. She did make a little noise around 9:30 that evening before we went to bed, kind of a grunt and a cough and then silence. I didn’t think much of it because she didn’t wake up or cry at all. But when I went into her room at 3 I found the baby and the whole crib covered in barf.

You guys, I don’t even have a GIF for this part¬†because it makes me so sad to think about it. She was saying mama, mama with the most confused look on her face. I changed the¬†sheets and changed her clothes and nursed her back to sleep and she seemed completely fine the next day but¬†now (just like when that horrible fever thing happened), every time she coughs or snorts in the night I’m going to think she’s barfing and I’m going to run in there. Probably nothing will be wrong but I won’t be able to sleep or live with myself until I know for sure.

surfer

Plans for the future include stocking up on fuel gels, getting in that 10 mile run that didn’t happen and with any hope, keeping the kids healthy and maybe even sleeping through the night without a toddler in my bed.

Fat chance.

Fat chance.

don’t condescend me, man.

Happy Mother’s Day! In honor of MY SPECIAL DAY, I thought I’d complain about a few mom-related things that have been grinding my gears lately.

1. World’s Toughest Job. I know this one is already stale, and many, many others have already said it better than I ever could, but it’ll be a good segue into my next topic.¬†And okay, I haven’t actually watched the whole thing because after about 12 seconds, my eyes rolled so far back in my head I couldn’t see the screen anymore. But I think the gist is that I’m supposed to appreciate how somebody FINALLY¬† understands motherhood, and what an apparently horrid, barbaric and thankless job it is. The ad is hollow and predictable, and it really doesn’t reflect the dynamic of most families. (I suspect we won’t see a similar Father’s Day campaign recognizing all the hardships our¬†dads¬†endured.) But…JUST CRY ABOUT IT AND BUY OUR STUFF.

Not_terribly_important

2. Mom’s Night Out. If your intelligence wasn’t insulted by World’s Toughest Job, here’s a whole entire movie that uses the same tired stereotypes (AND Jesus!) to stroke and patronize us, diminish the role of dads and other caregivers and perpetuate the idea that moms bear the sole responsibility of raising the children. I’m so sick of that stupid slob somehow lands smart, hot wife schtick in rom-coms. And while I AM a stay-at-home-mom, it doesn’t make my partner any less of an integral figure in our daughter’s life. I couldn’t do it without him! If he (or I) were a terrible parent, it would be devastating for our family. I know people in real life who are terrible parents, and it’s not funny at all. But…YOUR HUSBAND IS A DOLT NOW GO SEE THIS MOVIE.

devil woman

3. #MomConfessions. Yet another condescending ad campaign targeted at women and relying on absurd gender roles and stereotypes. LET OUR APPLIANCES FILL THE VOID IN YOUR SAD, EMPTY LIFE.

hey girl

4. #MAMALETE. I think this is related because it’s really just another predictable marketing campaign that assumes women will respond favorably if you pat them on the head and tell them…I’m not even sure, what rock-hard mom abs they have? And not all women want or need to identify in that manner. But…YOU’RE A MAMALETE! HERE’S YOUR PINK TANK TOP.

workaholics-funny-gifs-014-11052013

Now if you’ll excuse me, this is the one day of the year my existence is validated and there’s a hot brunch and a bubble bath awaiting me.