Subversive shit I did last week

So I thought in addition to my not-ever-weekly running progress reports, it’d also be nice to start blogging about the actions I’ve been taking to try to save us from the trumpocracy. Like a lot of you, I’ve been really angry/sad/disturbed/nauseated by pretty much every headline I read and it’s driven me to be more active.

And please understand I do this not to brag, but to share ideas and to let people out there who think like I do know they’re not alone. I really appreciate friends and other bloggers who are doing this because it lets us all know who our allies are. I’m also not trying to come across as if I have any idea what I’m doing. I still get the feeling my actions are all largely superficial and meaningless. A lot of screaming into the void. My privilege has allowed me to be largely complacent until now so I welcome any guidance you have to offer.

So.

Who I supported
I don’t have a lot of money, so when you see me mentioning donations, assume I’m talking around 10 bucks. Sometimes five. I wish I could give more but that’s where we’re at right now. (But it’s okay because the other areas are important too.)

Laura’s chimp rescue – “This fundraiser is to support and expand a highly successful pilot program in Uganda implemented by the Bulindi Chimpanzee & Community Project (BCCP). Sponsored by the US-based nonprofit, Friends of Chimps, this fundraiser will allow us to expand a community-based project working with farmers to reduce deforestation, plant trees, send children to school and ultimately, save small populations of wild chimpanzees struggling to survive mounting human population pressure.”

ACS Relay For Life – My friend is running a local campaign for the American Cancer Society’s signature 24-hour relay event. She lost both her dad and father-in-law to cancer and she’s one of the kindest best people ever so this one was a no-brainer for me.

Help Theo’s Transition! Theo Vanore is a trans activist who spoke at our Indianapolis rally last week (see below) and I found his Go Fund Me page when I was googling the speakers. I noticed the last donation to the fund was about a year ago, so like a total creeper, I messaged him and asked if he was still raising money. The answer was an enthusiastic yes! Crowd funding campaigns can be so fickle, you guys. Unless it happens by chance to get picked up by the media and go viral, the momentum slows and the campaign can fizzle. Especially when you’re a high school kid and your friends can’t throw in hundreds of dollars. Theo has done some great work in Indianapolis and it’d be cool if we could give a little back.

Who I contacted
I called my senators regarding education secretary nominee Betsy DeVos (earlier this week Donnelly announced he will oppose DeVos, so that one was a thank you call) and to oppose AG nominee Jeff Sessions and I also called the Senate Judiciary Chair Chuck Grassley to oppose Sessions. And that probably amounts to more calls to reps than I’ve ever made in my life.

Based on information from a Facebook post, I emailed the Government Accountability Office in support of Senator Elizabeth Warren’s request for an audit of Trump’s finances, but later found on snopes that they are not tracking responses for this as the FB post suggested. However, maybe the flood of messages will still influence their action on this matter? I’ll be vetting sources a little better from now on.

I sent a email to my senators to oppose defunding Planned Parenthood. I know I know, it’s just an email. I’ve often been guilty of sending email via web forms and I think I’m going to stop doing this (or do it, but make a phone call too) because I’ve read that email and snail mail are virtually useless and should only be used as a last resort when phone lines are jammed or voicemail boxes full. (Looking at you, Paul Ryan…get your shit together.)

What I read
After finishing House of Leaves, I needed a break from foot notes and appendices and tiny upside-down type scattered all over the page. I did read one book, Orphan Train, and I just started American Gods but I’ve mostly been reading stuff on the ‘net. Here are some of the noteworthy things I read this week:

What I did
I have been volunteering with FIDO since about 2006 or 2007. We help low-income dog owners with dog houses, fencing, crates for house-training and other supplies. We run a pet food pantry and we have grant money to cover free spay/neuter and vaccinations for those who qualify. I do FIDO’s social media and blog and some other web stuff, and I just took on some additional housekeeping/data-entry duties.

I bought some items to donate to a local Black Lives Matter homeless outreach. For those of you who think Black Lives Matter activists just block traffic on your commute, well first of all you’re an asshole, and second of all nope. Indy’s local organizers have been leading a homeless outreach this winter and in this round they are collecting socks, shoes, underwear and hygiene items to offer people living outside. Here’s the event for anyone who’s local and wants to get involved. They are accepting donations until February 4.

I marched. Well, we didn’t actually march in Indy, but there was an enormous rally in front of the state house with some great speakers including Theo Vanore and local leaders from the Indiana chapter of NOW, Planned Parenthood of Indiana and Kentucky, the Indy chapter of the NAACP, Immigrant Welcome Center, and the Muslim Alliance. Crowd estimates were at 4000 on the low end and 10,000 on the high end, which is not too shabby for a small blue city in a big red state. We got there early and still had some room to move around and play on the grass with the kids but by 11 a.m. things were getting pretty snug and people were still arriving in droves. It was pretty incredible. I cried behind my sunglasses a couple of times as I listened to the speakers and stared out at the sea of people. The event was well-organized. The atmosphere was incredibly positive and I left feeling hopeful instead of dejected.

2017-01-21-10-32-23

My sister got to go to a birthday party and I had to attend this stupid rally for women’s rights.

I did feel that a lot of the imagery and messaging around the uterus and vulva and vagina detracted from the overall theme and was kinda TERFy, to be honest. I mean, what is more gender essentialist than a pink pussy? When we reduce feminism to physical anatomy, we’re doing ourselves and our trans siblings a huge disservice. And I KNOW the pussyhat people said both cis and trans women are mistreated and we’re standing up for the rights of all women and the “sea of pink” demonstrates how we’re all united and we’re reclaiming the term as a means of empowerment. But it sort of comes across as ‘all lives mattering’ trans people. I have trans and nonbinary friends who have been kind enough to share their thoughts with me on this so it was at the front of my mind all day. The last thing I want to do is make people feel excluded.

Postscript: I started writing this post before Trump’s immigration order and before he appointed that horror garbage fire of a person Steve Bannon to the National Security Council (and dropped the joint chiefs…WTFWTFWTFWTF), so I’d like for some of my actions this week to focus on that. Each executive action feels more insidious than the last, so I’m trying to focus on just a few issues each week so I don’t get overwhelmed and spiral into paralysis. There is also some local legislation I don’t want to let slip through the cracks, namely SB 285, which would effectively restrict peaceful protests.

angela-peoples

Source

Brew Mile or, how I don’t know how to run a mile

So, I don’t know if you remember a while back I said one of my short-term goals was to run a mile all-out? I sort of did that last night, and I realized that I really have no idea how to run a mile.

I (sadly) just learned this week that a local running store has been hosting a charity Brew Mile monthly during the summer at each of the Indy breweries. I KNOW. It’s a totally non-goal-oriented, non-chipped, fun mile run, and the $5 entry gets you a pint of beer.

Last night’s run was at Triton Brewing, which I recently remarked was way the hell on the other side of town from me, so what we saved on the race entry we made up for in gas.

TEH HUBZ and TEH BEBE came along to cheer me on to victory, and even though it was a casual and very short race, it was really fun to have them there.

The race was, in fact, so casual, it started about 10 minutes late. Buddy Kate and I got antsy, so we ran back inside the brewery to share a quick beer. Naturally, that’s when the race started, so, oopsie, down the hatch, and we were off.

So yeah, running a mile sounds fun, but I’m so used to starting out slowly and pacing myself (for the purposes of this post, lets pretend I do that), I had no idea what I was doing. Should I have done a warmup run? Some high-knees across the parking lot? Not drank that beer (yeah right)?

If I hadn’t been running for FUN, I might have given it some more thought, but I wasn’t trying to be all for serious about it. There were only a couple of those kind of pompous-looking fellows who insisted on treating this run like it was the Olympic time trials. You know the type: shorty shorts, no shirt, finish in four minutes, heaving, and then dump water all over their narrow, soft, hairless chests. Also a girl who announced to anyone who’d listen that shed ALREADY DONE FIVE MILES TODAY SO I’M JUST DOING THIS ONE FOR FUN!!! Good to know, hun.

So basically I just ran all fast and sloppy like, picking up the pace when it felt right. We started out at about an 8:30 and ran the final stretch at about a 7:20 pace, overall an 8:15 mile, which is really not bad for me, considering the beer and the no-warmup. I think under different circumstances, I could have easily managed to finish in 8 minutes.

Okay, enough of that running horseshit, lets talk about the beer! After the race, all the runners formed a line outside and around the block to redeem their pint, while Kate and I sauntered inside, where my husband had a table waiting for us. We’ve never felt smarter, or more smug.

Or more sweaty.

Hubhubhubbykins and I had the Rail Splitter IPA (7% ABV/70 IBU) which I’ve had before, but obviously it was much better on draft. I feel like maybe I should have sampled some other beers while we were there…? Kate had the Sin Bin Belgian Pale (6.2% ABV/19 IBU), which incidentally is the official beer of the Indianapolis Ice. (Oh, you didn’t know Indy had a hockey team? That’s okay, I don’t think INDY knows that Indy has a hockey team.)

The tap room doesn’t serve food regularly, but they did have EIGHT food trucks (#clustertruck) out front last night with everything from gourmet mac ‘n’ cheese to fancy cupcakes, grilled pizza, Indian food and comfort food.

Anyway, I’m really looking forward to getting back into racing. Yesterday’s run, silly as it was, really gave me that itch to race (or maybe I just need to wash these shorts). And  we’re not going to push it, but if Kenzie ever says she wants to do a 5k with me, I will probably burst into fat, ugly tears of joy.


the great malnourished

Yeah so we went to the Indiana State Fair yesterday to look at piggies and eat our weight in fried food. I think it’s fitting in light of a certain healthy living conference going on this weekend…that’s all I’m going to say.

We did our best to fit in as much debauchery as is reasonable with a pregnant lady: we ate fried food, walked the livestock barns, bought some (losing) lottery tickets, snarked at the fair folk and said things like, “Carnies. Small hands. Smell like cabbage.”

We also did a lot of sitting and people-watching. Have you ever noticed how a lot of people at the fair are…sort of funny-looking? I think it has something to do with being malnourished. Last night, we saw a lot of bad teeth, sunken cheeks, veiny thighs and bloated waistlines. My husband remarked, “do you feel like you’re the best-looking person here right now?”

No, you didn’t just read that.

Let’s venture into the livestock barn, shall we?

I totally never had a problem reconciling my love for bacon with my love for adorable piggy friends. I guess I’m just really courageous and resourceful that way. Neat, huh?

Here’s the world’s biggest boar (1400 pounds!) having his dinners:

And here are the world’s biggest boar’s balls:

I really bring the class, don’t I?

And with that image still dancing around in your brain hole, let’s talk about fair food…

Do you know how hard it is to find natural, organic foods at the fair? Yeah, neither do I because I’VE NEVER TRIED.

They also have that place that makes the burgers out of Krispy Kremes, but I didn’t get a photo. Apologies.

It was a truly inspirational evening.

Read other installments of Food For Real People.

let’s go burn stuff

Does anyone remember this book?

amazon let's go camping

As a kid, I adored it because it’s a scratch ‘n’ sniff. My favorites were the skunk and campfire smells. I think this book may have contributed to my love for cuddly animals and setting things on fire (not at the same time).

Anyialsolovethesmellofmanure, can you guess what I did over the weekend?

I wasn’t privileged enough to smell that sweet pungent aroma of skunk spray, but I did get to:

  • burn things
  • roast marshmallows
  • eat my weight in grilled bacon-wrapped cream cheese jalapeno thingies
  • watch everybody get wasted, then tell them the next morning how stupid they were while bragging about how fantastic and un-hungover I felt (I even went for a run!)
  • canoe 8 miles down Sugar Creek without capsizing (not all of us were so lucky).

We did end up getting the biggest, dopest campsite in the whole place. It was right by the creek, with plenty of room to spread out and eat and burn stuff.

Public service announcement: Sleeping in a cabin is not camping. Sleeping in a camper or RV is not camping. Sleeping in a “tent cabin” is not camping. Only sleeping in an actual tent constitutes camping. And if you happen to pass out before you even make it to the tent (this totally has never, ever happened, I swear), all the better.

No pictures of the canoe trip because I thought it’d be safer to leave my camera back at the campsite. Of course, as soon as I got home, I emptied my camera bag straight into the washing machine. #winning

Instead, please enjoy these cute bunnies. They wouldn’t leave us alone.

more stuff you don’t care about + Friday haiku

I’ve never been able to afford a membership to one of those ritzy gyms that have like, pools and saunas and shit. I’ve always grudgingly forked over 20 or 30 bucks a month to work out in an overcrowded storage closet with wobbly treadmills, stationary bikes that creep, and four screaming juicers pumping rusted iron in a shadowy corner.

Until now.

No, we didn’t win the lottery, BUT a new YMCA opened exactly half a mile from our house, and it is – in my Clay Aiken voice – FAAAABULOUS!

It’s also surprisingly affordable. Get this: $76 PER FAMILY. And that includes the fetus at whichever point he or she wishes to begin accompanying me (gonna have that little bugger jogging with me in no time), and any other spawn we decide to bring into the world.

Me and TEH HUBZ have been stalking this place for months via the the back entrance that feeds into our neighborhood. We’d survey the progress made, jiggle all the door handles, peer in the windows; pretty much act like we owned the place, spouting off about how our tax dollars paid for it and all.

Last night, they had an “opening party” (sounds more glam than it actually was), so we finally got to have a look inside. For all it offers, it is totally worth the extra few bucks a month.

These are the most incredible treadmills I’ve ever seen:

Touch screen, ipod sync, face fan, and the best part: a virtual run setting complete with terrain/grade changes, and ambient noise through your headphones, so you can “run” the canyons, the mountains, the beach, etc. (If I were in charge, there’d by a Grand Theft Auto version where you’re outrunning crackheads and hurdling dead hookers. AM I RIGHT?)

And look how big this place is. See the climbing wall in the back?

Basketball court. I will be spending exactly zero time in here.

Soon-to-be-contaminated children’s pool. (Okay, that’s probably unfair, but I have a complex about pools filled with urine children. Guess I might have to get over that soon, huh?)

And the lap pool where I will soon learn to loathe swimming…

Fun huh?

Anyiknowyoureallydontgiveashit, the home PC is STILL NOT FIXED. Freaking idiot repair dude said it would be 5-10 business days and it’s been more than 14. Then when we called on Wednesday, he said it’d “either be today or tomorrow.” But we kinda don’t want to throw a hissy while he’s still holding our computer hostage…

Instead, a haiku rant:

I’ll be a writer,
change the world! Should have fixed
computers instead.

Oh, and stop by and see Angry Runner today. For someone who claims to be uninspired, she’s sure cranking out some brilliantly disturbing haiku.

I love you,

Marie

congratulations to me

Congratulations to me for being 3-1/2 months and one day pregnant today! It really feels like an important milestone, you guys. My fetus is starting to look like less of an alien: its eyes are closer together and its ears are on the sides of its head now. So that’s good.

Also congratulations to me for “running” three miles last night, for a total this week of…three miles. I am an amazing pregnant runner, and super double proud of myself every time I manage to make it outside and waddle around for 30 or 40 minutes.

Additionally, congratulations to me for making it through another work week. It’s probably going to be really funny (to everyone but me) in about six months when I realize how little I actually had to complain about. And if the amount of complaining I do increases on a monthly basis, watch out. I’m really going to have to come up with some creative ways to top myself in that 9-1/2th month.

And, according to my doctor, Indiana is one of the top-ranking states in the U.S. for syphilis outbreaks. So, congratulations to me for not having it. (Although to be fair, we haven’t lived here that long. ::Smirk::)

And last, congratulations to me for finding a way to reach my tens of adoring readers despite the home PC still being out of commission. (Name this movie: “Aren’t you busy in your career?” “I’m in between important meetings!”)

Want some haiku?

Congratulations
on being mediocre.
You get a gold star.

Thoughts? What’s so great about you this week?

run-walking + what my husband is drinking

Yesterday morning, I did something I swore I would never do: the Galloway run-walk.

I’ve always been sort of an elitist a-hole when it comes to running. Walking doesn’t count. And, I know, I know, I am a sucky runner by most standards. But in my mind, jogging at a 11:00 pace is still more noble than walking. Or run-walking. This weird hybrid just did not exist (to me, anyway) when I took up running (poorly) back in the 90s. (Race-walking, however, is epicballsauce).

But yesterday, while temps were already in the 70s by 9 a.m., I did a 3:1 run-walk for three miles, and I sort of loved it.

You see, I have no air. I’m sharing mine with the fetus and the fetus is a big fat air-hog. Nobody ever told me in addition to getting fat and feeling queasy any time you’re not stuffing your face with Betty Crocker bacon and ranch pasta salad, you’ll also not be able to breathe. (It’ll get really fun in the third trimester when its feet and bony butt are shoving my lungs and diaphragm up into my throat.)

Anyway, run-walking. I made peace with it. For now.

Another first: I dreamed I was drinking a beer. And doing shots. I sort of panicked in the dream as I realized I was killing my baby. But not like you’d panic in real life. More like, Oh, whoops. And then I moved on.

Anyway, I thought you might like to know what TEH HUBZ has been drinking…

Friday night we met some friends at 3 Pints, a brewery that just opened last year. They served a decent variety of local guest brews until they got their own operation underway last month. (Dear 3 Pints: UPDATE YOUR WEBSITE, DAMN YOU! Love, Marie)

We’ve been here several times and love the food and, ahem, TEH HUBZ says the beer is good too.

Last time we were there, he had the IPA; this time they had an American Pale Ale on tap in its place. It had a nice coppery, red color and smelled sweet and floral. He said it was just slightly less hoppy than the IPA.

I wanted to ask him to elaborate on the specific flavors he was getting from the beer, but I probably would have gotten the eye-roll at that point, so I let it go.

I drank a delicious iced tea blended with lemonade. It was a rich gold color and tasted strongly of iced tea blended with lemonade.

Then yesterday, we hit up the jazz brunch at Zydeco’s in Mooresville. They have great live music and some of the best Cajun food you can get north of Louisiana. (Actually, our buddy Tyler who lived in New Orleans swears it is just as good.)

Guy Fieri also approves:

Anyhoozles, our friend Jess is preggo too, so I wasn’t the only one who didn’t get to have a mind-blowing Bloody Mary. Which was nice.

See all the pepper and junk floating around in there? That means its made for special with lots of love.

I drank orange juice. It was orange and it tasted like orange juice.

I did find something else to occupy me…

Blackened catfish and jambalaya. ::Drool::

Thankfully, I never lost my appetite for spicy food.

Dear PETA: It was for a good cause...I look awesome here.

April recap/this time last year/catching up/my favorite posts/I am married/oh by the way did you know I ran a marathon once?*

First of all, did you guys know it’s MAY ALREADY?!

I know, crazy! Time flies when your life is amazing.

Last month went by SO FAST! Here’s what I was up to in April:

I made some soup.
I ran a 15k (and PRed!)
I got my very first hate-comment.
I did some yard work.
I went to yoga.

It made me reminisce about what I was doing in May 2010!

Signing up for my first marathon!
More yard work!
Drinking beer during my half marathon taper!

Also in cased you missed them, here are my last three posts!

Friday haiku
Slacking + a love poem
Nothing of substance

And here are three of my favorite posts!

how to craft a blog post out of absolutely nothing
Spaß mit Gröninger Pils
13 things I hate about the holidays

Also, did you know I have run a ton of races? Here are some of my recaps!

December 2010 Christmas 5k
November 2010 Drumstick Dash
November 2010 Indianapolis Monumental Marathon
May 2010 Indy500 Festival Mini Marathon

Also did you know I am married? It happened way before I started the blog, but here’s a picture!

Are you married? Or are you alone?

*I feel sorry for anyone who might have unwittingly stumbled across this blog post: Of course I am being sarcastic.**
**Did the disclaimer ruin it for you?***
***I like cheese.

procrastination street

Hi!

So before I head out for my 12 mile run this morning, I thought I’d “kill” a “little” “time” by sharing with you some of the awesome fun details of my super ballin’ weekend!

(Note: in suburbia, super ballin’ = yard work.)

We had a dude come out and grind the stump (LOL) left by the tree we lost last week…

We spread a LOT of mulch.

We pulled a lot of friggin’ weeds.

And planted some food.

BABIES! Serranos, cayennes, hot red peppers, early red bells, mint, Thai basil, onion chives and grape tomatoes.

All right. I’m going.

Also, just found a crazy cover of this song by Chimaira (not sure if I like it yet but it’s definitely interesting):

Bye.

runner’s tan

Indications of springtime: two ducks making sweet love in our backyard; first run of the season in shorty shorts.

When you’re as pasty white as I am, springtime is a much-welcomed opportunity to add a touch of color. However, I think it’s pretty unfair that the fattest parts of me are still the whitest. I still have -albeit very faint – lines from last year’s runner’s tan, and today I kick-started this year’s runner’s tan with a long run in my favorite shorty shorts.

Normally I like to keep things casual on Saturdays. I wake up earlyish, but continue to lounge around in bed; stumble out around 10, drink coffee in my jammies for a few hours and then head out for a mellow three or four miles, or whatever the hell I feel like. Then on Sunday, well-rested and decidedly unhungover, I buckle down for my long run.

Today I switched things up, set my alarm for an unheard of 7:30 and drove across town to do a long run with my homies from Indy Runners. (They may or may not know my name, but we are homies just the same, I assure you.)

Remember how I joined that running club months and months ago? I’ve gone running with them a whopping two times, and then second time, it was something like 0° outside and Kate and I were the only runners present.

We met up in front of the Brugge (alas, this run did not end with a tripel de Ripple) and then promptly scattered to the four winds. I teamed up with a girl who claimed to be slow (LIAR!) and we headed out at a pace common sense told me was utterly unrealistic for me to maintain for 9 or 10 miles. (I forgot my Garmin so you’ll just have to trust me on this one.)

I started feeling some nasty tightness in my left calf but pride kept me trucking along and when my running buddy turned around to head back around the three mile mark, I took the opportunity to slow my ass the frick down to a more comfortable pace.

The tightness continued and got worse, but I was stubbornly determined to finish without walking, and crawled in at probably something like an 11:00 pace the last few miles. But I still ended up doing 9.5 in about 1:40, which tells me just how way too fast I started out. Eight miles probably would have been wiser today. That last mile and a half was reeeeally pushing it.

But I’m not dead, so I’ve got that going for me.

We all ended up at Ripple Bagel Deli for coffee and seriously kickass bagel sandwiches. Do you like…anything? You’ll like this place. Mine had turkey, avocado, cucumber, sprouts and provolone.

My calf was still killing me when I got home, so I went at it with the rolling stick and…fffffffffrick. It was excruciating. I should have had a chunk of tree bark to bite down on like those old-timey women who used to give birth in the days of yore. But it worked. I rolled all the knots and icknastiness out of it and now it feels only marginally tender instead of all ohshitowwy.

I am now sitting with my leg elevated and iced, and I’m appropriately enjoying a Southern Tier Farmer’s Tan Imperial Lager:

Neolithic humans evolved from nomadic hunters into a more settled agricultural society, changing life forever. The ‘founder’ crops they raised included wheat & barley. It is little surprise that the first examples of brewing appeared during this age.

Brewers owe much to that epoch. Similarly, we thank our farmer friends of today for cultivating the ingredients that are responsible for the beers we now enjoy. Their laborious days spent outdoors under the hot sun earn them respect, as well as a mark of distinction: the farmer’s tan. Yes, the inevitable red & white hallmark of hard work.

I usually avoid lagers, and I can’t really explain why. I guess because in my formative years, the only lagers I knew of were at best not completely disgusting, and what you did to overcome that was drink about 16 of them.

But this one turns the traditional idea of lagers (or mine, at least) on its ass. It’s a fine Saturday afternoon post-run beer.

It’s got the word imperial in it, which tells you it means business. It is 9% ABV, but maybe your Saturday afternoon post-run beer differs from mine. And Southern Tier has kind of cornered the market on imperials. They do a lot of them, and they do them well.

It’s light and easy to drink, but has enough taste and booze so you know you’re drinking a beer. Fruity, sweet, orange-y, malty; finishes sharp and clean. I am happy.

And now, for your question in bold:

What’s your favorite lager? Or, what’s your Saturday routine?